Market Economics: Gratitude

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson

By Sterling M. Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.”

— William James

Most consider financial wellness to be the ability to manage your money effectively. While it’s impossible to eliminate every risk to our financial portfolios, one thing remains always within our control— the ability to give thanks. I learned this lesson years ago when returning to my native District of Columbia after having lived in Florida for a number of years. Not long after returning, I met my future wife. I had saved while living in Florida and while I had some student loan debt, it was manageable. So, I lived at my mother’s house until I regained my bearings while searching for employment, and my own place. However, I decided to take the first couple of months after returning and do nothing except enjoy the outdoors, fish, cycle, and read for hours. Besides, it was the beginning of summer. And I wasn’t about to allow the summer to pass without soaking up as much of it as I could. I would soon be mourning the loss of it and the return of winter. After having spent five years in the Sunshine State I needed to prepare myself mentally for things to come.

I met Merlene a few months after returning to DC. My meager savings by the end of the summer was dwindling when we met. I had just started a new job and was attempting to build back the money I had depleted on bare essentials— food, gas, and car insurance. So, our dating life was not extravagant—free concerts, budget theatrical performances by local artists, museums, and restaurants. On a few occasions, Merlene gave me money for gas and offered to pay for dinner when we went out. I remembered her acts of kindness toward me. I was just beginning to regain my independence and felt toward her an immense sense of gratitude for her kindness and acceptance of my lowly estate.

In my introduction to the topic of Market Economics, I said that currency comes in many forms. One form of currency is gratitude. Gratitude is an emotional currency that often holds more nominal value for those who possess it than for those who don’t. Gratitude is defined in this context as the quality of being thankful and ready to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

According to a research study published in June 2014 in Psychological Science, people make better financial decisions when they feel grateful. Being in a state of gratitude made participants more likely to have the patience to save for a higher return on their money.  David De Steno of Northeastern University’s department of Psychology led the interdisciplinary research project, entitled Gratitude: A Tool for Reducing Economic Impatience. The study’s aim was to weigh how various emotions affected people’s ability to make better financial decisions by choosing to receive a greater amount of money in 30 days versus a lesser amount immediately.

In the study, participants were given a classic test of their ability to delay gratification, not unlike the famous Stanford “Marshmallow Experiment.” The Stanford experiment tested to see if children could wait 15 minutes to receive a second marshmallow (or another goodie) along with the first. In the gratitude study, adult participants were given a choice between receiving $54 now or $80 in 30 days. While the dollar figure was modest, the rate of return was impressive – a monthly return of 48% or an annualized return of 57%. To test the influence of specific emotions on their financial decision-making, participants were directed to spend 5 minutes journaling about something that would lead them to feel either grateful, happy, or neutral before making their decision. Those who were either happy or neutral were very likely to take the $54 offered instead of waiting for the $80, with no significant difference between those in a happy or neutral state of mind. Researchers discovered that those who put themselves in a grateful state of mind significantly increased patience and self-control. Not only were the participants in the state of gratitude more likely to wait 30 days to receive the $80, but the results also showed that the more gratitude the participants reported feeling, the more willing they were to wait for the larger return.

I believe this study suggests that gratitude is an important element in experiencing contentment and inner wealth. I say “inner” wealth because similar to patience, gratitude is a state of being where the value is defined by how one thinks about oneself relative to others, or in the case of a marriage or long-term partnership, one’s partner. https://thoughtprint.consulting/blog  June 24, 2023. Examining the benefits of delayed gratification can often decide whether a long-term relationship will survive the ups and downs of a volatile market economy. An example of this can be seen in how most long-term relationships are formed and sustained over the years. Couples like companies, when forming a partnership, learn about each other’s assets, their histories, their affiliations, their deficits, and how each handles circumstances beyond their control. They discover about each other the influences required for rational decision-making and how to spend, save, and invest their capital with the purpose of obtaining a return. Couples must also navigate crises and learn how to suffer loss without becoming insolvent.

I would be remiss at this point if  I neglect  The Law of Diminishing Returns when discussing gratitude. The Law of Diminishing Returns in economics says there is a point where continued effort fails to produce the desired result. That is to say, if my investment in a particular area increases the rate of profit from that investment, it will only do so up to a certain point. And after that point has been reached, each additional input of measured effort results in a smaller increase in output or returns. The Law of Diminishing Returns, while used primarily to describe production and workflow in business cycles, has broad application for other areas including work, friendships, and romantic relationships.

For example, if you are investing heavily in a relationship and it appears to be getting worse instead of better (e.g., more arguments or conflicts) then this could mean that too much time is being spent in one area of your relationship. Licensed Professional Counselor Marlayne Whitlock says, “Couples often ‘memorize the dance steps’ to their relationship. They expect their memorized behavior will always work. ‘This is the way we’ve always done it in the past, so doing more of it will surely make things better.’ . . . It may mean that a simple change is needed, or goals might need to be redefined.” During times of uncertainty, misunderstanding, or tangible loss, perceived indifference to such failure or the inability to quickly resolve it creates a myriad of emotions that will suffocate any hint of gratitude. For this reason, cultivating a gracious mindset becomes essential in promoting healing to repair the damage done by its opposite ingratitude.

In marriage and long-term partnerships, focusing on what you or your partner do not possess is easy. This could become a dominant theme in your thinking. I am not suggesting that qualifying negative criteria used to determine whether you should invest in a long-term partnership be eliminated. Only that determining your own liabilities and those of your partner requires a macro-approach and should be balanced with a thorough estimation of the total portfolio including individual and jointly held qualities and traits.  Therefore, the aim of gratitude is to help us to be thankful for what we have, or our partner has rather than what we don’t have. For many of us, gratitude may require a change in the steps of the dance, or in market economics a change in investment strategy.  In practical terms how might this look? 

In a market economy, outcomes are affected by labor. If labor fails to match demand, consumers of those services and goods become dissatisfied with output. The same is true in marriage and long-term partnerships. And, even when labor matches demand, we grow accustomed to goods and services being produced at a rate that satisfies the demand. Particularly when labor is sustained for long periods. However, an equitable division of labor may not be enough to ensure that partners are satisfied with their relationship. 

Researchers, Angela Trethewey at California State University and Jes Alberts at Arizona State University write  “When you perform work around the house from cooking to laundry to checking your kid’s homework, it often feels like a burden to yourself and a gift to your partner.  So, if you don’t feel that your partner is grateful for your efforts, especially if you perform the lion’s share of domestic labor, that’s likely to exacerbate feelings of inequity and dissatisfaction making a difficult situation even worse”. In their research, Trethewey and Alberts found evidence through focus groups, interviews, and surveys with people in heterosexual and same-sex relationships that gratitude isn’t just a way to mitigate the negative effects of an unequal division of labor. Rather, a lack of gratitude may be connected to why that division of labor is so unequal, to begin with.

Their research suggests partners’ response threshold for particular tasks are decided by the degree of dissatisfaction that exists before one partner is sufficiently bothered to perform a task not being done or performed unsatisfactorily. They give the following example:

 “If Joan’s partner Ted is disturbed when the trash in the wastebasket approaches the rim, whereas it doesn’t bother her until the trash spills onto the floor, Ted will take out the trash before Joan is moved to do so. If the difference in their disturbance levels is great enough, Joan never will empty the trash, because Ted will always take care of it before it bothers her, possibly before she ever even notices the garbage.

What’s more, if one partner does something well, that increases the chance he’ll perform that task again, just as failing at the task (or a lack of opportunity to complete it) decrease the chance he’ll get another turn. Then consider that, before long, the partner who performs a task more frequently will likely be seen as a specialist at it. Taken together, these facts explain how one partner can get stuck with a household chore.”

Sociologist and writer Arlie Hochschild coined the concept of emotional labor in her book titled— The Managed Heart- 1983. Hochschild believes that in relationships, individuals offer each other “gifts,” which are something extra, beyond what is expected. For Hochschild, the expression and management of emotion are social processes. Therefore, what people feel and express depends on societal norms, one’s social category, and cultural factors.

You may recall when discussing the topic of patience, I said that careful identification of how each partner interprets what they see, hear, and feel becomes the key determinant in whether or not the relationship will survive. It should be underscored here that perspectives held by each partner be jointly analyzed based on the sociocultural factors that influence their individual behavior. That is to say, do these perspectives hinder or help gratitude to flourish? And, if not why?

Gratitude reflects what we believe we deserve for ourselves and our partners. It reflects what we have been taught. It shows love and respect. It is a language that is acquired. It is a language that is learned.

The Roman philosopher Seneca  (4BC – 65 AD) wrote the following on gratitude and what it really means to be generous – “Benefits, as well as injuries, depend on the spirit… Our feeling about every obligation depends in each case upon the spirit in which the benefit is conferred; we weigh not the bulk of the gift, but the quality of the good-will which prompted it.”

For these reasons and more, expressing gratitude to your partner reminds them that the division of labor is not fair and that their contributions are a gift.

American author Annie Dillard in her effort to encourage generosity for aspiring writers, I believe offers sound advice for married couples and long-term partnerships in a market economy.  She writes-- The impulse to save something good  [gratitude] for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better… The impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned [or earned] is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.”

It is unlikely that gratitude will eliminate all conflict surrounding couples’ division of labor, but it can help partners reduce the frequency of their conflicts and most importantly avoid the trap of taking each other for granted.

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References:

DeSteno, D., Li, Y., Lerner, J. S. (2014).  Gratitude: A Tool for Reducing Economic Impatience. Psychological Science (25), 1262-1267 https://davedesteno.com/publications/gratitude-a-tool-for-reducing-economic-impatience-pdf  

Dillard, A. (1989, January 1.) The Writing Life. Good Reads. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/151317-one-of-the-things-i-know-about-writing-is-this

The Law of Diminishing Returns. Grow Counseling.com https://growcounseling.com/relationships-diminishing-returns/

Trethewey, A., Alberts,(2007, June) J.  Love, Honor, and Thank. Greater Good Magazine, June 2007. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/love_honor_thank  Whitlock, M. (n.d.). Relationships:

Market Economics: Patience

Photo by John McArthur

By Sterling M. Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

   “Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” 

-Unknown 

Before pursuing a career in social work, I took a keen interest in economics. As an undergraduate, I stacked econ courses because the introductory courses were much easier than chemistry and physics. I’ve always struggled with the pure sciences because I’m a slow learner and resources that lent themself to application were not always accessible. However, I soon realized that while physics and chemistry require high critical thinking skills and logic, the deeper you go into economics the laws of economics don’t always apply. This is because economics is influenced by the irrational nature of humans. With chemistry and physics, you can be certain that if you try to measure a specific property among a spread of possible positions, if you repeat the measurement many times you can trace out the distribution of possible results. With the social sciences what is certain is relative uncertainty. Human behavior, while often predictable, fails to conform neatly to theorems applicable to precise outcomes. Social Scientists must incorporate laws involving both the physical world and society. And the complex relationships that exist between the two. Economics in many ways helped me to explain a broad range of positions with an even wider range of outcomes. I am beginning to return to economics in helping me to navigate the world of interpersonal relationships-mainly couples. It’s messy work, but I enjoy learning from my observations and applied research in its most basic forms.

Over the next several months I will be examining four characteristics found in healthy interpersonal relationships. I will use concepts found in economic theory to illustrate how human relationships mirror financial markets. The following characteristics and their definitions are:

• Patience- The capacity to accept, tolerate, and delay problems without becoming annoyed or anxious.

• Gratitude- The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

• Intuition- The ability to understand something instinctively without the need for conscious reasoning.

• Teachable- The ability and willingness to learn by instruction.

“The qualities most useful to ourselves are, first of all, superior reasons and understanding, by which we are capable of discerning the remote consequences of all our actions; and, secondly, self-command, by which we are enabled to abstain from present pleasure or to endure present pain in order to obtain a greater pleasure in some future time”. Theory of Moral Sentiments (1759), Adam Smith

Patience encompasses tolerance, which is the ability to hold fast to guiding principles that have a historical pedigree in times of instability.  Relationships like financial transactions are based on conditions that strengthen or weaken patience. Identifying what allows you to feel safe in a relationship is the key to remaining patient. In couples therapy, I try to identify types of “currency” that govern the collaboration between partners.   Currency comes in many forms: intellectual, physical, sexual, psychological-emotional, and material- property. Each partner in the relationship must determine the type and value of the currency they hold to be exchanged. Couples moving toward long-term commitments naturally attempt to differentiate the types of currency that exist between them and their value. Rarely do both partners hold currency having an identical value between them.  The collective values shared by each partner are what promote patience. Patience is a slow organic process. It cannot be forced.

Financial investors are warned. to take a long-term view rather than trying to second guess the market and selling off stocks and transferring funds according to the ebbs and flows of the market. The standard advice is that you shouldn’t be investing unless you’re prepared to hold on to your portfolio for at least five years or more. And, that ten years, twenty years, or more is even better.  This is because of the principle of Compound Interest. 

An example of this would be your investment of “time” into your partner’s life over the course of one year, by sharing in household chores, shopping, child care, and transportation.  While these investments of time may hold no monetary value, they add quality to your partner’s life over time.  After the first year theoretically, your original investment should have added value to your partner’s life.  This added value should consequently increase your net worth in the relationship, by allowing your partner the freedom to work and pursue other commitments.  The original principal has over the year yielded some returns and interest or value to the relationship.  And your partner’s ability to increase their own value independently due to your investment.

As humans, we crave stability. Long-term commitments and partnerships hold the greatest opportunity for gains as well as the greatest risks for loss. Patience is cultivated over time. It is often decreased by market conditions represented by challenges that disrupt the equilibrium or comfort zone between the known and the unknown. Conditions that promote patience and those that undermine it are linked to quality and quantity. When my supply is plentiful and exceptional my patience is high, and my confidence is strong. However, when supply is scarce or inferior my patience is low, and my confidence may weaken or become absent altogether.

Assuming we are mentally and emotionally healthy, to begin with, most couples seek balance and attempt to minimize stressors associated with conflict. One of the problems with maintaining patience in long-term relationships is that we have few incentives to do so. The emphasis within the last fifty years or so has been toward self-centeredness as opposed to self-denial. At the risk of overgeneralizing this trend, it is safe to say that most couples fail to appreciate the intrinsic qualities or values that each partner brings to the relationship. Appreciating or possessing acceptance of personality traits in our partners having lesser values can and does help with stabilizing the equilibrium that allows for gratitude, another essential quality that I will explore in greater depth in my next essay. An example of this can be easily found among most families. It’s a given that we often will tolerate more from a blood relative than we would a stranger. We do this because our connection by birth or blood is something we do not choose. Some may argue that within certain cultures even marriage is not a choice. And their assertion would be correct. But, for those connections that are familial, there’s often a sense of duty or commitment. 

That is to say, we tolerate undesirable qualities because they represent only a part of the collective value of the person with whom we are in a relationship. Individuals usually possess positive qualities or values that exceed those traits that we find undesirable and offensive. As a result, by their very nature, long-term relationships should over time produce the type of patience that endures. For those of us in long-term partnerships we understand this. Time, however, is a non-sequitur.  Time alone may fail to fix relational conflicts or heal all wounds.  In some instances, time fails to guarantee that patients will survive in turbulent market conditions. So, when do such conditions destroy patience?

To translate this into economics, we must remember the values or currencies we bring into the relationship are rarely fixed. This means that we must learn the principle of diversification— a strategy that involves investing in a variety of commodities to reduce the risk that will cause the relationship to suffer. English philosopher and poet Eric Carpenter (1844 -1929) describes this process. “For any big [successful] relationship plenty of time has to be allowed. Whichever side of the nature - mental, emotional, physical, and so forth— may have happened to take the lead, it must not and cannot monopolize the affair. It must drag other sides in and give their place. And this means time, and temporary bewilderment and confusion.”

To apply this in economic terms we must see interpersonal relationships in the way we see banks and capital markets. Both are simply a means of matching savings to investments. Couples that realize the benefits of patience are more efficient with their currency. They save and spend wisely which promotes long-term growth.

British Economist, Andrew Haldane,  describes the challenges in achieving this delicate balance: “The implication of such behaviors [impatience] are far-reaching. “The patient planner becomes a spontaneous doer when outcomes are within reach, The cautious saver becomes a reckless spender when nest eggs are close to hatching. The long-term investor becomes a short-term speculator if assets can be cashed. As temptation beckons, the devil on one shoulder whispers more seductively than the angel on the other. Preferences switch as the distance becomes instant.”  (“Andrew Haldane: Patience and Finance - Bank for International Settlements”)

In these scenarios one thing is clear. Couples are more likely to experience impatience when expectations appear imminent and certain. Humans are not hard-wired for patience. We need incentives in small quantities. If I believe that my investment in my partner will yield a future value greater than the present, I will tolerate their shortcomings and inconsistencies that otherwise would tempt me to divest and curtail future dividends. And, when patience is rewarded by incremental increases in valued currency, I am encouraged to continue what I am doing even when stock values fluctuate. Patience is impacted by multiple variables— type and value of the currency (those positive values that are desirable and appreciated by my partner), and rates of exchange, how much certain tangible goods are valued by my partner at a given time. Gains and losses are inextricably connected. This is what makes the cultivation of patience so demanding in relationships. The expectations that partners place on each other are subject to change based on what is seen, heard, and felt during the relationship. Careful identification of how each partner interprets what they see, hear, and feel becomes the key determinant in whether or not the relationship will survive.

So, what we can learn from the parallels that can be found between couples and their interaction with each other based on market economies?

• In a market economy, most economic decision-making is done through voluntary transactions according to the laws of supply and demand. Remember that each of us holds types of currency. The value of which fluctuates based on supply and demand. Couples must practice patience when evaluating their currency and be willing to endure temporary deficits until supplies reach satisfactory levels. What this means for the couple in the midst of a recession is that they must rigorously evaluate their currency and ask themselves and their partner— what values and/or commodities my partner brings into the relationship that makes me a better person? And, do I possess more or less value if those commodities were absent, and my partner was not present in my life?

• A market economy gives entrepreneurs the freedom to pursue profit by creating more valuable outputs than the inputs they use up, and free to fail and go out of business if they do not. In short, as the saying goes no person is an island. Each of us possesses qualities that are the result of other people’s investments in us. It would be wrong for us to say that we possess all of what we need independent of others to reach our full potential. Therefore, we must be careful not to squander the goods we have received from others. This means that I must acknowledge the good I receive from my partner and be willing to risk losing it, knowing that if I fail through a lack of patience to find ways to reciprocate the investment that my partner has made into my life and into our relationship, the business of what keeps us connected will not succeed.

• Economists universally agree that market-oriented economies produce better economic outcomes but differ on the precise balance between markets and central planning that is best for a nation’s long-term well-being. Most couples forget that competition is good. Competition says that I am willing to fight for what I want in my relationship at the exclusion of all things harmful to the one I love. Patience, therefore, allows me to compete for what is best, desirable, and most profitable for the long-term growth of the relationship.

Hannah Arendt (1906 - 1975), historian and political philosopher, writing on love and the fundamental fear of loss concludes by giving us what in the end we gain from being patient. She writes, “ A love that seeks anything safe and disposable on earth is constantly frustrated because everything is doomed to die. In this frustration, love turns about, and its object becomes a negation so that nothing is to be desired except freedom from fear. Such fearlessness exists only in the complete calm that can no longer be shaken by events expected by the future.” (“Hannah Arendt on Love and How to Live with the Fundamental … - Pocket”)  Patience, therefore, is the recognition that loss is inescapable and that what we truly desire in a market economy is freedom from fear.

Conversations, Critiques, And Reflections

Photo by Maria Oswalt

By Sterling M. Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

At the end of last year, I found myself contemplating as I often do about what matters most. And how this manifests in my personal life. Like others in the behavioral health community, I look for similarities that define what is considered normal or uniquely characterize developmental stages in the human life cycle. The late psychologist Erik Erikson, a name familiar to most, identified eight stages of psychosocial development along with their relative age range: Trust (0-1), Independence (1-3), Initiative (3-5), Accomplishment (5-12), Identity (12-18), Relationships (18-40), Contribution (40-65), and Reflection (65- +). The theory maintains that personality develops in a predetermined order through each of these stages from infancy to adulthood. Through each stage, a person is said to experience a developmental “crisis” that could have a positive or negative outcome on personality development. According to Erikson, the successful completion of each stage throughout the life-cycle results in a healthy personality and the acquisition of basic virtues. A crisis results when the psychological needs of the individual are in conflict with the needs of society.

While I like Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development I find the developmental progression to be too rigid because the theory implies a failure to develop at any given stage is a lost opportunity for growth that is no longer accessible. According to Erikson, I am at the tail end of the seventh stage labeled “Contribution”. The opposite of Contribution is withdrawal or stagnation. The key features of this developmental phase are giving back to society, raising children, being productive at work, getting involved in community activities and organizations, and seeing myself as part of the “larger story.” If I fail to contribute to the larger story or if my voice is silenced, I will become disconnected and uninvolved with society as a whole and remain undeveloped.

This brings me to another question that prompted this contemplative exercise. If what matters most in life can be defined according to Erikson’s model, what happens when my personal needs conflict with those in society? Can they coexist as equals or is there a constant state of disequilibrium? I believe when using terms like “crisis” and “failure” to describe psychosocial development, one must use caution. Erikson’s theory while helpful can also be harmful if the definitions used to define the needs of society (inclusive) are counterintuitive to my individual needs (exclusive).

Let me explain my dilemma by outlining the stories of others and what I have learned from them. Ivan Illich (1926-2002) was an Austrian priest, theologian, philosopher, and social critic. He was best known for his institutional critiques and revolutionary perspectives. He authored or co-authored over eighty books, along with numerous articles. One book, in particular, catches my attention. “Tools of Conviviality” (Harper & Row, 1973) is a book that provides us with a broad examination of the institutions that dominate modern life and the need for fundamental technology reform. Illich defines “conviviality” as the opposite of industrial, autonomous productivity. Rather, it is the creative dialogue among persons and between individuals and their environment. Illich argues for the multidimensional balance of human life which should serve as a framework for evaluating a person’s relation to their tools because modern technologies often serve politically interrelated individuals rather than the common citizen,

In the mid-1990s the tech revolution was just beginning to take off, and I had already begun to feel the pain of the feeding frenzy looming on the horizon. A frenzy of never-ending voices, words, pictures, and sounds. Unaware of the insatiable appetite that would ensue or where technology would lead, I decided to limit my exposure to television and radio media for reasons related to mass marketing and the pressure to buy into what was dubbed the Internet, then known as the World Wide Web. In the beginning, the Internet served neither my needs nor my interests. Now I can barely imagine life without it. This was for me a crisis. One that replaced the search for material in the stacks of public libraries, and databanks, pieced together from collected notes and conversations from multiple print media. I believed then as I do now that our inability to control our appetite and dependence on technology would result in mental obesity. As computers and automated technologies became more accessible to the average citizen, I made this decision because my attention to detail and ability to focus was becoming fragmented. In short, I began losing the ability to question opposing views and manage the push from those who promoted what they wanted me to believe- that more is better and that if I’m not looking at or listening in, I’m missing out. Therefore, according to Erikson, my individual needs were at odds with those of society, or at minimum the needs of the social media giants.

I think Illich knew where unregulated technology would lead us. With all the modern and time-saving conveniences we enjoy, we have become slaves to the machine. It’s not that technology is bad, but our inability to control it is. Illich talks about the desire for speed, which is essentially at the root of most technologies. By contrast, the absence of technology made us more socially interdependent and required that we exert ourselves physically, which had a more humbling effect. When work is not abusive or used as a means of punishment it is a reward in itself. The quality of human capital has depreciated in the age of automation. Formal education, the college degree has replaced or revised the role of apprenticeship and participatory education in what is often referred to as blue-collar trades. Even in higher education, before the 19th century, those professions where mastery of science or the arts was largely determined by book learning, the human element of mentorship was key to one’s success. This can be observed in ancient Greek literature where various schools of thought grew up around noted teachers and scholars. Plato, Aristotle, Sophocles, and the like all had a following, much like the students of the 1960s whose liberal icons formed the backdrop for political thought. Even the university is not sacrosanct. Illich in the book describes the effects of technology in the classroom. “A certain type of reading skill is disappearing- in effect physical intercourse between reader, printed text, and the world beyond.” He compares book-based learning to electronic media. “When the sensual, textual, actual book-as-body goes, so goes a form of human interaction.” I believe Illich is correct and think that this trend affects social relationships. He goes on to say “The embrace, the kiss, the face-to-face conversation are celebrations of sense in a senseless world of artificial intelligence and electronic communities.” What I conclude from Illich’s thesis is that technology cannot replicate the characteristics that define those aspects of personality responsible for our humanness. The very essence that makes each person unique in form and character. That our interpretation and interaction with each other and the world around us make us human. The social narrative for development is that what is good for society is good for the individual, but if this is true why should I feel stagnate and undeveloped for eschewing technological advances that produce more alienation than cohesion and exclusion among communities? Particularly communities of color.

Let me explain. While technology is not directly to blame, individuals and companies that create algorithms that allow their social media content to incite individuals toward acts that promote injustice and inequality appeal to the lowest common denominator- hate, discrimination, exclusion, greed, intolerance, extremism, and misinformation. Companies that fail to exercise good business ethics have unfairly tried to silence those critics who have spoken out against them. Appealing to the lowest common denominator affects every member of society. However, the African American community and other marginalized groups like women, and the LGBTQ community have suffered the most. This I believe is primarily the result of greed and the exploitation of “gig” workers who are employed on demand by large tech companies Most of these companies are more beholden to their shareholders than their consumer base. Therefore, social media monopolies (you know who they are) want to generate money. Tech investor and activist Ellen Pao in her book “Reset: My Fight for Inclusion and Lasting Change” (Random House 2017) highlights her own experience as a corporate executive who experienced and fought against exclusion by predominately white men. Pao explains how corporate culture often creates bad actors and bullies that ignore many of the policies that govern their businesses and use their platforms to discriminate against women and minorities.

Make no mistake. The failure of big tech corporations to protect the civil rights of their employees or those who use their platforms is not about free speech or the suppression of First Amendment Rights. It’s about the creation of poorly defined standards or their (corporations’) failure to enforce them. We see this where certain politicians will get a pass for posting misinformation or extremist views on their platforms. This is a soft endorsement by social media executives who choose to look the other way and fail to restrict or ban the type of content or practices that create addiction, misogyny, and racial and ethnic bias that results in polarization among social classes. The reality is that the business model used by most corporations is quite lucrative and designed to keep us as consumers staring at our screens and becoming more outraged or entertained rather than informing us. In short, exploitation.

Returning for a minute to Erikson’s model, I’m reminded of the delicate balance between growth and stagnation which is where I am at in my developmental journey. The reality is that some things are neither good nor bad. A thing can create growth or stagnation. It just depends on how it is used, who uses it, and the intended or unintended outcomes. William Treseder, a corporate entrepreneur and author captures my sentiment in his book “Reset: Building Purpose In the Age of Digital Distraction” (Lioncrest 2018). Treseder writes that humans do not respond well to an infinite supply of anything. Choosing quality over quantity is hard for us. He compares information to food and says that we aren’t all sufficiently wired to know when to stop. He writes- “We’re curious creatures and at some basic level we want to see it all. We enjoy the mental stimulation and the illusion that we’re learning something new. And, at times being focused and purposeful is one of the hardest things for us to do. In short, we choke. “We consume without exercising judgment or connecting to a larger purpose.” It is this illusion of learning created by the myriad of voices and their stories that I wish to avoid.

In addition to the social impact of technology, certain technologies restrict accessibility for specific segments of the population. Have you ever attempted to call a company business and needed to navigate the telephone prompts and filters in order to speak to a live person? When the selections provided by the virtual assistant don’t fit the category that you are calling about? This has become a part of the digital landscape and an unavoidable way of conducting business. I understand the rationale for using this type of technology and am not suggesting that virtual assistants be abolished. However, I do believe that an element of personality or humanness is lost when we are constrained by certain types of technology that limit the range of human interaction and/or expression.

Much of my work involves communicating with seniors. I do this using multiple modes: meetings, telephone, voicemail, email, text, and video conferencing. What happens when someone I am working with is unable to access or use the technology that can assist them with meeting a personal need? Many of my clients are in their 70s and 80s and were locked down like everyone else during the pandemic. Some are tech-savvy and managed emails and text messages on their phones and tablets with minimal difficulty. Others engulfed by users of technology remain isolated by limitations, whether by designs outside of their control, their own choice, or a combination of the two, and were literally cut-off from all but the most basic form of long-distance communication- the telephone. Some of my clients housed in assisted living facilities were not even in possession of their own mobile devices due to their health conditions. Those who were capable of using a phone but dependent on the availability of a single landline or the willingness of staff to assist them with making or receiving calls from loved ones suffered emotionally. The families of some clients were responsive during this period by purchasing a tablet or basic smart device for their homebound loved ones which increased their autonomy and ability to connect with those outside of their facilities. Other residents whose families lived out-of-state, who were without family, or whose families were economically incapable of making such accommodations were further isolated. Some of the smaller privately owned facilities with fewer than 10 residents were better able to pivot using their homes in ways that would allow for limited contact and connectedness when Covid-infection rates soared. Using a combination of quarantined indoor spaces with outdoor visitation when weather permitted, allowed a semblance of normalcy.

This, like most topics I wrestle with, is a complex one. There are other perspectives of this narrative that should be considered. This however is the lens I find most helpful in reflecting on challenges associated with living life in a technological age. Erikson, I believe if he were alive today would say that his model is helpful only when constructs used to define stages of development are well defined. We need to answer the question, what should each of these stages look and feel like? Their appearance has become blurred by generational influences that were not a part of today’s lived experience. For example, my present developmental stage “Contribution” differs as a baby boomer (1946-1964) from that of other generations- millennials (Gen Y. 1981-1996) or zoomers (Gen Z. 1997-2012). Because of this experiential gap, technology and my relationship with it will be different from those of past and future generations. What I believe doesn’t change over time is our fundamental need to be seen as singular, unique beings, capable of contributing something from oneself as “gifts” to the world. I’ve concluded that AI rather than enhancing individuality and creativity is often used to strip away those aspects of our personality that allow us to develop and reach maturity. Illich if he were alive would say that technology is being used to move us toward reductionism instead of a holistic approach. Illich would agree, that our failure to regulate technology has resulted in technology running amok. And, that the politicization of greed has changed the social fabric of the community to one that measures development and growth only in terms of profit and pleasure. These virtues- profit, and pleasure are toxic, addictive, and left unchecked soon become inseparable from life itself. These examples highlight both the benefits and limitations of technology when circumstances present barriers and users misappropriate their technology or weaponize it to do harm to those who look and think differently from them. And to others who lack the knowledge to implement such technology, lack accessibility, or the inability to separate fact from fallacy.

GOT REST?

Photo by Alan Retratos

By Sterling Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

It's the holiday season, and whether or not you celebrate traditional holidays, there's one thing in common with all holidays. It is a period when no work is done. Work in the way we understand it- A regular activity that one engages in to earn a livelihood. Holidays and how they are celebrated depend on who you are, and what you believe. On a personal level, holidays often allow me to reflect on my relationships with others and places where I enjoy spending time. I've always equated holidays with rest. As a college student, I remember looking forward to winter break, when exams and papers were all done, and I could visit with friends back home, and enjoy seasonal food and drink. But what I remember most were the hours of unstructured time. This meant for at least a week or two, when I was not visiting or socializing with friends, I could sleep whenever I wanted. Strangely, however, once my sleep deficit resolved, I never felt completely rested. It wasn't until years later that I realized that my definition of sleep was too limited. Leave it to me in my ignorance and efforts to oversimplify what for others seemed obvious. I failed then to appreciate the importance of expanding my definition of rest.

 Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a physician and researcher, in her 2021 Ted-Talk explains that my mistake is common. We try and fix an ongoing lack of energy by getting more sleep; only to do so and still feel exhausted. Dalton-Smith identifies sleep as physical rest. And only one of the seven types of rest we all need to remain healthy. The six other types of rest she identifies are mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social, and spiritual. In this article, I only will focus on three of the seven types we typically don't consider when thinking about rest. You may read the entire transcript or view the TED Talk by clicking on the link below.

Sensory Rest

In today's climate of digital connections, those of us who enjoy its modern infrastructure have unlimited access to individuals and information wherever and whenever we choose. Dalton writes "bright lights, computer screens, background noise, and multiple conversations... can cause our senses to feel overwhelmed."   

If you are like me, there are times when you find yourself unable to resist checking email, voice mail, and responding to texts. Sadly, at times, our devices exert more control over us than we should allow. Dalton says we can start to counteract the negative tendencies simply by closing our eyes in the middle of the day for several minutes or intentionally unplugging at the end of every day. These and other mindfulness techniques create moments of sensory deprivation that can begin to undo the damage inflicted by our over-stimulating world. 

Creative Rest 

Have you ever wondered why individuals take sabbaticals? A sabbatical is a break or change from a normal routine away from work. Traditionally, sabbaticals were offered to individuals in academic settings to give professors a year's leave of absence from teaching to pursue research, publish, or time away to engage in professional interests outside of the classroom. The sabbatical by design allowed persons to remain employed and still be compensated during this time.

While Dalton does not use the term sabbatical to describe creative rest, it is implied by her definition. One purpose she says for creative rest is to engage in problem-solving or as a catalyst for brainstorming innovative ideas. In short, inspiration. Dalton comments "Creative rest re-awakens the awe and wonder inside each of us."   While it may be impossible to pursue a year-long sabbatical, it is possible to incorporate aspects that lead to discovery, self-awareness, and exploration in our daily routine.

To dig a little deeper into the origins of creative rest we need to examine the root or context of sabbatical. The word sabbatical can be traced to the Greek word sabbaton which is derived from the shabbath, meaning rest. The Old Testament refers to the sabbath as God’s Day of rest- Genesis 2:2-3. And following Genesis the Sabbath was to be applied to his followers wherein his people were required to rest after six days of work- Leviticus 23:3. Taking a sabbatical has always involved rest for deep reflection, rediscovery, and reimagining. Dalton writes that one way we can practice creative rest is by displaying images of places we love and art that speaks to us in our workspace. It is hard to feel inspired or rested where creativity is lacking.

If you're wondering if taking a vacation will allow you to meet your creative rest requirements, think again. Vacations are primarily for recreation and are typically short breaks that disrupt our regular routines and provide us with distractions and fun stuff to do or see. Oftentimes, vacations by their nature create more stress, because you're painfully aware of their limited duration, and seek to cram multiple activities into a narrow timeframe. In contrast, a sabbatical is usually for one year and geared toward education, learning how to improve one's self, and developing or producing something of worth. Sabbaticals are designed to overcome certain challenges, be they mental, physical, or spiritual that only time and intentionality will resolve.

Spiritual Rest

Spiritual rest according to Dalton is "the ability to connect beyond the physical and mental and feel a deep sense of belonging, love, acceptance, and purpose."   Spirituality encompasses activities that take us outside of ourselves, away from material or physical things, allowing us to embrace the soul or spirit profoundly. No one spiritual practice can claim exclusivity. Prayer, meditation, silence, and the sounds and songs of nature whether produced through voice or musical instruments can create a sensory experience or belief that there exists something greater than us. Spirituality in this context is different from religion which is defined as a set of beliefs or practices shared by a community or group. In contrast, the type of spirituality being implied involves an individual practice used to cultivate and develop a sense of peace and purpose.

In his poem titled “Time Off Work,” the author Carl D’Souza asks a question:

In an ideal joy and happiness society, would every working person get time off work to rest,

to rejuvenate,

to play,

to self-entertain,

to self-educate,

to care for and improve one’s mental health,

to travel and explore,

to do family joy,

to do friendship-joy

to do romance-joy,

to do joy and happiness activities?

In response to D’ Souza’s rhetorical question, we must each acknowledge that our world is not ideal and that there is much sorrow and unhappiness. And forces conspire that compel us to believe that sensory, creative, and spiritual rest are impossible to fully achieve. However, it is rest that brings us closer to the ideal and rest that allows us to practice in the words of Behida Dolic, “Little gestures of the soul” that don’t take an immense amount of energy. Finally, as you pause from work to celebrate, reflect and reconnect, remember to incorporate rituals involving these types of rest into your holiday.

_____________________________________________

References:

Dalton-Smith, S. (2021, January). The 7-types of Rest that Every Person Needs [Video]. TED Conferences. https://ideas.ted.com/the-7-types-of-rest-that-every-person-needs/

D’Souza, Carl. “Time Off work”, Hello Poetry.com, https://hellopoetry.com/carl-dsouza/poems/?tab Oct 2021

Life's Final Chapters

Photo by SHVETS Productions

By Sterling M. Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

I’ve been thinking about what matters most at the end of life, and why it matters.  It’s not always what you think.  Most of the things we hold onto both emotionally and physically change throughout our life cycle.  What is well known in the field of aging is that people at the end of life want to feel that their life was complete.  How they go about that is expressed in different ways depending on the individual.  Along the journey toward end-of-life care, we usually accumulate “stuff” that somehow in the beginning seems important, but over time and at the end often changes value.  I believe what becomes important for most, in the end, involves effective communication, care coordination, and physical, emotional, and spiritual support.  So how do we get there?

American physicist, Alan Lightman in his collection of writings titled  “The Accidental Universe: The World You Thought You Knew, writes “ I don’t know why we long so for permanence, why the fleeting nature of things so disturbs. With futility, we cling to the old wallet long after it has fallen apart. We visit and re-visit the old neighborhood where we grew up searching for the remembered grove of trees and the little fence. We clutch our old photographs. In our churches and synagogues and mosques, we pray to the everlasting and eternal.  Yet in every nook and cranny, nature screams at the top of her lungs that nothing lasts, that it is all passing away.” This sentiment echoed by Lightman is acutely evident in death. Death involves a change from a life we know and can observe to what is certain but hidden and unknown. Death involves change.

As Americans, we have a strange relationship with death. We acknowledge it and sometimes even prepare for it. We write and even sing about it. However, few of us welcome it when it comes, if given the chance to do so. Perhaps it comes when life is good, and the summer years of life remain rich and vibrant. Or, before spring has yet to bloom. Or, when autumn leaves fall, or winter’s snow has killed off the maiden grass and the thistle. It always comes.

I had the opportunity years ago to participate in a couple of training programs offered by a hospice organization. What I learned back then helped prepare me for my work today, with those who are in their final years of life. Back then I never gave as much thought to the resistance to death when a diagnosis presented insurmountable challenges for the patients with whom I worked. But now after years of working with the chronically and terminally ill, I see how the subject of death for some patients and their families is terrifying. Particularly for those who were born and raised in the United States. Unlike non-western countries, many Americans have an aversion to death. I believe there are three reasons why this occurs:

[1] We remove death from our lives by avoiding thoughts or conversations about death

[2] We use technological advances to delay death. And,

[3] We separate the dying from society in medical facilities.

As a child, I remember going to funerals when somebody would die that was known to me or one of my parents. On rare occasions, I might get to see the person before they died. If they were sick and, in the hospital, dying at home or in a nursing home, my mother sometimes carried me with her to see them. But in most cases, I just learned about their death from my mother or someone else in the family. In the 1950s and 1960s, health education was severely restricted to those who were not employed in health care. Many physicians and specialists within the medical establishment held a very paternalistic approach to informing their patients and relatives about the nature of their illnesses.  In such instances, I recall the expressions of disbelief and phrases the family repeated as heard from the deceased person’s physicians— “Heart just gave out…, died of pneumonia…, cancer took her…, didn’t take care of himself…” Curious kid as I was, I remember thinking to myself, “what exactly does that mean?” It was only later that I realized the stigma associated with dying without the knowledge or power to change the narrative about what we should know, when possible, prior to death’s occurrence. Being African American and uneducated in most cases during the fifties and sixties meant limited access and disclosure about medical practices from those providing the treatment.   In the 1960s  segregated hospitals were common and legal throughout the United States.  Even in so-called mixed-race hospitals, Black patients were often housed on separate floors.  The notorious Tuskegee syphilis study a government-led experiment on Black males ran from 1932-1972  and killed over 100 men.  People of color were often discriminated against and were restricted from receiving care.  As a result, African Americans are often suspicious when their doctors begin withdrawing medical treatment or fail to disclose the implications of their illness.   Some physicians fail to engage in end-of-life care planning, the discussion that examines a patient’s disease process, and treatment approaches they can choose from, including hospice.  Too often these discussions simply don’t happen and because of the lack of trust, African American patients and their families don’t ask specific questions to become better informed and educated about what choices are available.  The conclusion is that doctors need to clarify what is happening medically for those at end-of-life in terms that can be understood while providing education on what treatment options are available. Such attitudes of racism and discrimination still exist today.  However, with the digital revolution of the 1990s came the opportunity for the public to access health information that was long restricted and available only to Whites.

Working in both hospital and home care settings as a social worker have taught me priceless lessons about accepting my own mortality and the importance of making adaptations to our life instead of alterations that are in the end untenable and do little to improve one’s “quality of life”. 

As I write this, I’m aware that some may argue that quality of life is a relative term. One might say that an alteration for one person may be an adaptation for another. Let me explain.

The modern usage of hospice as a place for and philosophy of end-of-life care began with the work of a British physician named Dame Cicely Saunders. Dr. Saunders began work with terminally ill patients in the London area in 1948. The term “hospice” is defined as a program that gives special care to people who are near the end of life and have stopped treatment to cure or control their disease. Hospice offers physical, emotional, social, and spiritual support for patients and their families.  The main goal of hospice care is to control pain and other symptoms of illness so patients can be as comfortable and alert as possible. It is usually given at home, but may also be given in a hospice center, hospital, or nursing home.

One of the key components of hospice philosophy is the discussion of the goals of care. The topic of goals of care deserves its own article.  But for simplicity, I will cite a few components when discussing goals of care that can be expanded. Tailoring services to match the needs of the last phase of life requires defining that phase in the most relevant ways. Because the phenomenon of a long healthy life followed by chronic and debilitating illness in the last phase is new in human history. We are just beginning to understand the dynamics.

In a White Paper published in 2003 by the Rand Corporation, the following components were said to be integral to adapting health care to those with serious and chronic illnesses in old age:

·        The timing of death remains unpredictable until late in the course of serious chronic illness. Therefore, special arrangements for care near the end of life must be triggered by the severity of symptoms, rather than waiting for a reliable prediction that death is near.

 ·         The major causes of death are all progressive, degenerative illnesses that leave people in fragile health for a long period of time before death. Programs and policies to improve care for chronic conditions need to accommodate the fact that death is the eventual outcome.

 ·         Designing reliable care systems might best build upon the time course and nature of the service needs of a small number of populations, differentiated by the trajectory of disability and symptoms over time, rather than conventional differentiation by care setting (e.g., hospital or home) or diagnosis.

It’s unlikely that such systemic changes will improve health outcomes, so long as the topic of death remains something to be avoided.  However, each one of us can do our part to preserve those aspects of life that death cannot take away. I’d like to suggest five ways we can do this: [1] We can begin by being present with those facing death, wherever they are emotionally and psychologically. What this means is that [2] We must not marginalize their feelings. Equally important is [3] Not ignoring them (the dying).  At times, I still find this personally challenging.  In health care, it is difficult not to develop some emotional attachments with those who receive our services. To avoid these emotions, we sometimes avoid interacting directly with our clients.  Being a part of a healthcare team that offers bereavement care for its providers is helpful if your practice is dedicated to those who have fragile health conditions or are terminal. If you are a behavioral health provider, you should [4] Seek to become knowledgeable about disease processes and their treatments. Ask questions. Read the literature. Stay informed and share information honestly with those who inquire of you. The last thing we can all do to ease anxiety, denial, and depression for those facing death is to [5] Listen more and talk less. I believe this to be essential and one of the easiest ways to connect and engage with those facing death.

Cambridge University philosopher Stephen Cave in his book titled “Immortality: The Quest to Live Forever and How it Drives Civilization” gives a fitting conclusion to the narrative of death, one he calls the “Mortality Paradox”.  He writes, “We are therefore blessed with powerful minds yet at the same time cursed, not only to die but to know that we must…. This is the central theme of philosophy, poetry, and myth; it is what defines us as mortal. Since we attained self-awareness as Michel de Montaigne wrote, ‘death has us by the scruff of the neck at every moment.’ No matter what we do, no matter how hard we strive, we know that the Reaper will one day take us. Life is a constant war we are doomed to lose.”

In our journey toward the end, as healthcare providers,  let’s remember to assist those who are already there watching and waiting for the final chapter to end their life’s story.

___________________________________________________

References:

Hospice of Holland Inc. (2019) A Brief History of Hospice. Retrieved on 17 September 2022. Available at https://understandhospice.org/brief-history-hospice/

Lynn, Joanne & Adamson, David M. (2003) Living Well at the End of Life: Adapting Health Care to Serious Chronic Illness in Old Age. Retrieved on 17 September 2022. Available at https://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/white_papers/2005/WP137.pdf

Michas, Frederic (2022, March 3) Number of U.S. hospice providers from 2009-2019. Retrieved on 18 September 2022. Available at https://www.statista.com/statistics/339895/number-of-hospice-providers-in-the-us/

Caring For Yourself When Caring for Others

Photo By Rod Long

By Sterling M. Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

When you’re young, you don’t know what your needs are.  You receive the good and the bad of whatever people, parents, siblings, spouses, and friends give to you.   As we grow and mature, so does our understanding of what our needs truly are.  And, at times how dependent we are for having those needs met.  Through experience and by discipline most work to avoid being at the mercy of others who perhaps express similar needs.  They are familiar but strangers all the same and represent an anomaly in ways we don’t want to be treated.  When a parent or guardian cares for you based on how they were cared for at a similar age, in some instances the care may have been perceived as good.  In other instances, deplorable, unsafe, or physically and emotionally harmful.  Subtle at first and over time some needs become more pronounced in older adulthood.  Who will care for me when I am no longer able to care for myself?  And, what will be required of me when others call upon me for help?  We will ask ourselves one or both questions at some point and discover what it means to be a giver or recipient of care.

Caregiving is defined as providing care for the physical and emotional needs of a family member or a friend in their own home.  Caregiving may involve assisting with meals, personal care, transportation, helping with medical procedures, and therapy.  As this definition implies, these activities are usually performed by a family member.   However, in addition to family caregivers, there are also volunteer caregivers, who are usually unpaid and provide companionship, supervision, and assistance with routine and non-medical tasks to individuals in service to their community.  And, finally, there are professional caregivers.  These are individuals who are hired to provide care that may be medical or non-medical in assisting others to live as independently as possible.  Professional caregivers can be hired privately but are usually employed by assisted living or skilled nursing facilities.  One in five Americans (21%) identify themself as a family caregiver.  23% of Americans say caregiving has made their own health worse. And finally, Family caregiving spans all generations, including Boomers, Gen-X, Gen-Z, Millennials, and Silent.

Caregiving is essential to our emotional and physical wellbeing, and while we often consider only services provided by individual caregivers, other entities such as state and local governments, private and philanthropic organizations usually support the family caregiver, enabling them to perform tasks for those who depend on them for certain activities to be met. 

We each come to caregiving with different expectations and responsibilities.  For some, it is a job or duty.  Others choose to serve in this role.   While each caregiving experience is uniquely personal it is a journey that most will travel during our lifetime.

There are many facets of caregiving.  And the literature is replete with information to help guide caregivers as they define their roles and responsibilities, and the intersection of the individual, family, and community systems.  Numerous studies have been conducted on the social and emotional burden placed on caregivers, but few offer strategies on how practically to cope by meeting the spiritual needs of family caregivers.

In the book, titled “Caring for the Spirit of the Family Caregiver- Forty Days of Reflections to Strengthen and Encourage” by Dr. Rev. Beryl Dennis, (Covenant Books Inc., 2020), she examines the role of self-care through a first-person lens, as she gives readers a glimpse of her own story as a caregiver for her parents and how her own faith and practices allowed her to find patience and encouragement associated with that role. 

Dr. Dennis offers the reader a Judeo-Christian approach to caregiving.  However, I believe the problems, principles, and practices are also applicable to non-faith traditions.  I recently reviewed this book and believe it is a good resource for those who identify themselves as a family caregiver.

The material presented is based on her research investigating biblical models of care that help sustain family caregivers spiritually and emotionally.  She speaks to a large audience: Identified family caregivers, those who are associated directly with a family caregiver (other family members, neighbors, friends), and finally community groups who engage with the family member receiving care in collaboration with the caregiver.

The findings from her research revealed that what matters most when addressing the needs of family caregivers is those effective interventions begin with an assessment of a caregiver’s risks, needs, strengths, and preferences.  As a qualitative study, Dr. Dennis completed her research by conducting interviews to answer the question-- “What do family caregivers need to give them spiritual and emotional sustenance?”  

To create a tool useful for caregivers, resources are presented in a 40 Day Devotional guide.  Dennis emphasizes that the roles and responsibilities associated with caregiving often create a “wilderness” effect for the caregiver.  The forty days is more symbolic than literal and represents a “journey we grow closer to God in strength, courage, and faith.”

Each devotion is organized into five categories: Scripture Text, Biblical Models, Theological Reflections, Family Caregiver Insights, and Prayers.  Scripture Texts first identify a caregiving need or problem.  Second, Biblical Models are identified to highlight relatable characters in Scripture.  Third, are the implications that follow from the place and/or circumstances where these characters find themselves.  These serve as Theological Reflections.  Fourth, Family Caregiver Insights examine the practical insights for learning. And lastly, Prayer becomes a personal petition, a psalm, or a lament to God.

The devotionals are divided into topical sections that address common problems associated with caregiving, people written about in Scripture to learn from, and promises God gives to those who believe in divine help.  Principles consistent with humanitarian values and practices address needs that are important for engaging in any difficult and sustainable work.  Having been a caregiver myself at various times throughout my life, I can attest to the value of addressing my own spiritual needs in the process.

I like that the book can be used as both a daily devotional and as a reference for aspects of the caregiving experience.  The prayers are short and simple expressions to God that are written in common everyday language.  What I enjoy most about this book is the way Dennis blends her own experiences with those experiences of the persons she interviewed. The caregiver's insights are personal yet concise. Insights center on the adult child as a caregiver for an aged parent. As this is most common.  The result is a seamless guide that enables caregivers to become stronger and spiritually grounded in their identified role.

In summary, caregiving requires an investment of the self.  This investment is multifaceted and the spiritual component of who we are as caregivers is often ignored.  At times the concern for making a safe and comfortable living environment for the person receiving care creates stress, anxiety, isolation anger, resentment, helplessness, and grief in our own life.  These stressors are sometimes invisible, and at their core are inseparable from our spiritual needs.  Addressing the spiritual needs of the caregiver is foundational to the health (physical, psychological, and social) of the caregiver.  In my own education with family caregivers, I explain that the attention they give themselves can have a positive impact on the person receiving care and the quality of life they experience.

Andrea Wilburn in her recent article titled “Caring for Aging Loved Ones,” best describes this experience. “We are all going through life events for the first time, figuring things out.  Learning how to love in an intelligent connected manner… we need to look out for each other and encourage each other.  These are conversations that we should be having in an openly social affirmative manner.”

My challenge to caregivers is that you need to explore those resources that will best equip you to care for that someone who is depending on you and to identify and develop those spiritual practices that will renew your spirit.

_____________________________

References

AARP and National Alliance for Caregiving. Caregiving in the United States 2020. Washington, DC: AARP. May 2020. https://doi.org/10.26419/ppi.00103.001

 Wilburn, A. [2022] Caring for Aging Loved Ones. The Good Men Project, Retrieved on 12 July 2022.  Available at https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/caring-for-aging-loved-ones-kpkn/

A Crisis In Coping

Photo by Cottonbro

By Sterling Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

I attended a conference on suicide last month.  Death by suicide is trending up again following the Pandemic, which started me thinking about those individuals that are considered high-risk and also those without known risk factors. No matter how we define ourselves, our human condition unites us in the ways we experience our internal landscape or the factors that place people at risk for a crisis. The simplest definition of a crisis is— a time of great disagreement, confusion, or suffering.  I believe that it is safe to say that everyone living has experienced or will experience a period of crisis.  While each of us may exhibit a vast array of emotions leading up to a crisis, how we survive in the aftermath has a lot to do with preparation given that crises are a fact of life.

Our capacity for anticipating and interpreting what is happening is key.  Biochemical changes in the brain react to external stimuli and cause us to behave in similar ways at various times.  Adverse historical experiences may also influence what happens leading up to a crisis.  There are other factors as well, least of which involve the misinterpretation of what we witness occurring in our own life or the lives of others we know personally, and how these feelings intersect, change, or remain the same over time.  When we know the science about the mind and body, and how they are designed to function in what can loosely be defined as normal situations, we can then learn to regulate these factors using behavioral and Psychopharmacol interventions.

We live our lives on a continuum.  Drive the body or mind too aggressively in a particular direction and you will experience a crisis.  So, I began by asking the question— What are the drivers that enable us to survive crises for those who may not be suicidal, but are simply stressed, angry, or hopeless?

In not wanting to oversimplify a very complex subject, I will restrict my comments to what I have learned from my own personal experience and in working closely with others.  There are three fundamental and overlapping principles that I have found helpful when it comes to crisis management.  I’ll briefly share each of these. 

Having realistic expectations about yourself and others

Even in the absence of illness and disability, we are challenged.  We each have expectations for ourselves and others.  At times it’s easy to follow the momentum of what worked well for us in the past.  Success and accomplishments eventually do wane.  Having realistic expectations essentially means not being afraid to ask yourself questions and being willing to re-evaluate your worldview, values, and personal beliefs.

 Choosing a proper point of reference

Being able to live with a positive outlook means accepting your strengths and your weaknesses while making improvements wherever possible but recognizing that not everything circumstantially may change.  The concept of having a transcendent versus imminent point of reference becomes critical.  It is known that anything belonging to our material world can be damaged, destroyed, or taken from us.  So, when loss, sickness, or death occurs we have nothing left apart from the memory of what was. A belief in God or something outside of the “self” that transcends our material world is a rational way that gives our life meaning and purpose and balances individual potential with our human tendencies toward failure, and those influences in our life over which we have no control. 

 Being patient and allowing certain others to help you.

Our individual blueprints are under constant revision.  Too many suggestions from too many sources create enormous mental and physical pressure that will paralyze your personal growth and development in the areas you need it the most. So, when seeking help, carefully reach out to those who know you best and care about you. Reach out to those persons who are willing to be truthful and make sacrifices without bargaining or secondary gains.  Certain outcomes following a crisis may teach you things that will enrich your life.  In the moment, all may seem hopeless.  However, our reference point is often the equivalent of viewing a single frame from a full-length film.

 “THIS EXPERIENCE TAUGHT ME THAT AT TIMES THERE ARE NO VISIBLE INDICATORS.”

In the late 1980s, I received a letter from the mother of a friend and former college classmate named Sandy.   For several years after graduation Sandy and I kept in touch by writing letters and using 60-minute cassette tapes to document the stories occurring in each of our lives for the other to listen to.  These tapes we would send each other every two or three months cataloged the highs and lows in our lives and our shared faith.  I had not heard from Sandy for almost 6 months after writing to him the previous summer when the letter from his mother arrived.  I was a stranger to her.  We had never met.   She began by congratulating me on my new job which she apparently learned about from the letter that I had sent to Sandy the previous year.  She then told me that Sandy had committed suicide and that he had been sick on and off and that he suffered in the end. 

After working through the grief, I couldn’t seem to shake how if I had known Sandy was ill, I could have supported him emotionally, and perhaps he would not have ended his life.  I struggled to identify missed cues and questions I failed to ask.  This experience taught me that at times there are no visible indicators.  Particularly when geography is a barrier.  Was it just complacency, assuming everything was fine, or a comfortably loose connection? 

Back then there was no social media, no Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat.  So often, the lives of friends and families remained shrouded in mystery until we could see them in person.

Had I known Sandy was ill I would have traveled up north from Florida where I was living at the time to see him.  I would have done whatever I could to let him know I was there for him and try to keep him from sinking emotionally past the point of rescue.  I would have tried to help him not to escape the sorrow but tried to support him while embracing it. His mother’s letter was brief because to her I was a stranger known only through the letter I had written.  She had no obligation to express more details.  The weight of her son’s death I am certain was made even heavier as she penned her reply to me.

Expressing compassion toward those who suffer in the midst of their darkest night is something we must always be willing to do.  To ask challenging questions without judgment or denial we must accept the fact that we too are just as vulnerable in certain ways at certain times.  And, that those in crisis require of us the capacity to love.

There’s more of course to crisis management and intervention than just these three approaches.  This is simply a primer for anyone considering what insulating strategies aid in preparing for and coping well in the aftermath of an emotional crisis.

In the words of Jordan Peterson— “There are so many ways that things can fall apart or fail to work altogether, and it is always wounded people who are holding it together.”

Working With Older Adults- A Worthy Investment

Photo by Mike Jones

By Sterling M. Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

Time is a constant that's bought, borrowed, and lost. We experience it as moving fast or slow, but never at a standstill. I first knew I wanted to work with older adults in my mid-twenties. When I entered graduate school to pursue my Master's in Social Work, I could have selected several age groups as a focus. However, I chose to focus on older adults. Perhaps because as a child, I was constantly around older adults and have vivid memories of seeing family members and acquaintances' age and the challenges they each faced in the process. And secondly, my desire to help seniors achieve their best life.

This month I reviewed the topic of Gerontological Social Work. To help me do this, I selected the book titled "The Practice of Social Work With Older Adults: Insights and Opportunities for a Growing Profession" by Mary Kaplan, MSW (Health Professions Press Inc., 2020). The author is a licensed clinical social worker who has worked in health care and geriatrics for over 40 years as a clinician, administrator, educator, and community activist. She is retired from the University of South Florida School of Aging Studies, has authored five books, and is an international speaker.

This book examines the challenges encountered in the practice of geriatric social work. In this concise work of roughly 200 pages, the author takes a vast topic and distills it into four main sections: [1] The Development of Geriatric Social Work, [2] Basic principles that social workers and other health care practitioners should be aware of when working with older adults, [3] Issues and Challenges in Late Life, and [4] Geriatric Social Work: Settings and Opportunities. Kaplan provides readers with illustrations using her own practice experiences and real-life client stories in each chapter. In her Epilogue, she gives an appraisal of the future for those interested in pursuing a career in geriatric social work. I selected this book because I am a geriatric social worker and had the opportunity to meet the author in 2019. I believe the book captures the essentials required to practice successfully with older adults.

In highlighting some aspects of the book that make the case for required knowledge for those working with older adults, Kaplan, in Chapter 2, defines the characteristics of older adults by citing general stereotypes and differences that often exclude the diversity of seniors, differences in the aging process, and the factors that influence how seniors are treated. Here she examines Sex and Gender, Health and Functioning, and the Influence of Culture and History on Older Adults.

In Chapter 6, Kaplan addresses the Mental Health of older adults, and in Chapter 7, Mental Competence. These two chapters contain a wealth of information and provide the reader with common types of mental illnesses found in older adults, in conjunction with vital diagnostic criteria and corresponding treatment interventions. I like that she identifies Mental Health Assessment Tools that aid practitioners in performing a standard mental health assessment. A Mental health diagnosis cannot be discussed without examining the concept of Mental Competence. In the chapter on Mental Competence, Kaplan identifies how Dementia ( the loss of memory, language, problem-solving, and other thinking abilities) corresponds with principles of decisional capacity and how determining mental competence and capacity in older adults can be tricky. Kaplan discusses the role of guardianship and several types often used by state courts that define the scope and powers for appointed guardians who assume decision-making responsibilities in caring for older adults.

Each chapter of the book begins with Key Points that provide the reader with what's important to know about the chapter. And at the end of each chapter, Kaplan provides Chapter Notes that reference her citations. I like how the author blends a macro view of each aging topic with her personal stories that illustrate the micro complexities of working with older adults. The book delivers on its aim to highlight the practice of working with older adults by examining the social demographics of aging, sticking to a fundamental approach, and presenting an honest appraisal of the challenges and rewards of working with this population. The text should be considered a standard for every social work student entering the field of Aging. The book has helped me remember what can easily be forgotten, even by seasoned professionals when working with seniors in sub-specialty settings.

Social Workers who work with older adults can and do help them improve their quality of life. Kaplan's lived experience, and extensive research is a testament to investing in the lives of those who may be looking back more than they are looking ahead. The good news is that each of us can practice more effectively with older adults by becoming more knowledgeable about the challenges and rewards of making a difference in the lives of older adults that we encounter, regardless of our area of practice. 

"In Your Quest to Kill the Monster, Don't Become One."

Photo by Cup of Couple

By Sterling M. Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

Mental health therapists are struggling. The struggle is to balance the process of being broken while becoming whole. Being a mental health provider does not exempt me from this struggle. What is true for the masses is true for practitioners as well. Mental health providers understand the dual nature of humanity— that we are complex creatures with immense capacities for love and hate. There is such a thing as righteous hate when it comes to racism, sexism, and social injustice. But if we allow our treatment efforts to correct, mitigate, and resolve those prejudices and injustices to turn us toward personal hate, we risk endangering our clients and ourselves. Allow me to explain.

When working with clients, I sometimes use Cognitive Restructuring. In this process, thoughts or beliefs associated with anxiety, fear, or depression are replaced with thoughts or beliefs related to confidence and strength. For most therapists, anger is an all too familiar emotion we encounter in practice. Occasionally, for therapeutic reasons, we may encourage some of our clients to become angry, but more often than not, we try to get clients to address what is beneath or at the root of their anger. It is generally agreed within the mental health community that anger is rarely, if ever, a primary emotion. However, we sometimes unintentionally transfer our anger onto clients when their trauma becomes a catalyst. In our present climate of racially motivated violence and hate, I find cultivating a sense of strength and wholeness into the lives of my clients an ongoing challenge because every issue has the potential to become politicized in ways that at times cause me to lose sight of what's essential. Clients sometimes fail to identify the primary emotion fueling their anger, particularly when harmed. When this happens, feelings of devaluation, powerlessness, and rejection usually result. The danger for us as therapists is that we may fail to assist clients properly in alleviating their emotional pain. Some of us go to great lengths to justify our client's anger, and yet their anger remains.

As therapists, we sometimes unconsciously reflect back to our clients our own distressing emotions stemming from similar experiences from our past in reaction to something the client says or does. This concept is called "counter-transference." Likewise, clients' words and actions can also stem from their past experiences and emotions. This concept is referred to as "transference." Transference comes in various forms that time will not allow me to delve into. However, not all transference is negative. Particularly when we as therapists are able to recognize when it occurs. At times it can be educational. At other times it is used to exercise empathy. The challenge for us as therapists is to remain self-aware throughout the process and not react to what our clients are transferring or projecting onto us.

In not wanting clients to feel distressing emotions of fear and hurt, we sometimes reflect to them our anger as a means to keep their more vulnerable feelings at bay. While engaging in psychological defenses such as blame or criticism provides a temporary escape and release for the anger, it often fails to break the vicious cycle and restore harmony and trust that most of us deeply crave. A noted theologian once remarked— "the natural religion of every human heart is self-righteousness." That is to say, we are all seeking vindication from someone or something to become whole, but first, we must be broken.

In the book titled "A Tale of Two Cities, "the author Charles Dickens presents a fictional narrative based on factual history. It was written in 1792 at a time like now when socio-economics and political forces created today's version of "cancel-culture." The aristocracy had gained increasing political and economic strength and used this strength to oppress the commoners. The result was a growing sense of anger and hatred by the commoners towards the aristocracy.

In the story, Charles Darnay, a young French aristocrat, sees this oppression and relinquishes his titles, property, and French citizenship; he moves to England and is accused by England of being a French spy. He was jailed, tried, but acquitted because of conflicting statements given by his accusers.

Another central character, Sydney Carton, a shrewd young barrister present at Darnay's trial, asks him afterward if it was worth almost losing his life and giving up his titles and possessions only to be accused of being a spy. Carton is depressed and doesn't like Darnay. And although they share a close physical resemblance, Darnay's actions and demeanor are of a quiet yet assertive disposition. These character traits remind Carton of everything he is not. Carton admits that he is a drunk and has no hope of improving his life but does want to learn what possessed Darnay to relinquish his wealth and privilege in exchange for a meager living among the working class. As an educated trial attorney, Sydney Carton has strong opinions about himself and the ambition of others in an environment of political corruption and his own sense of powerlessness against injustice.

This is an example of positive transference by Charles Darnay because he is not reacting negatively to Carton's impression of who and what he believes Charles Darnay represents in terms of political influence and wealth based on past experiences. Carton's initial approach toward Darnay is mild cynicism. Darnay doesn't fit the stereotype of an aristocrat, and Carton is perplexed.

Another character in the story and adversary of Charles Darnay is Madame Defarge. Defarge owns a tavern in France and is a revolutionary driven to annihilate all French nobles, of which Darnay is now only by birth. While exiled in France, Darnay is not forgotten by those who seek revenge against him because of his family's history. Madame Defarge's sister, we learn later in the story, was raped and murdered by aristocrats. While those responsible are presumed dead, Defarge will not rest until all aristocrats are killed. Defarge's retribution cast a wide net that resulted in many deaths. However, Madame DeFarge's hate eventually costs her her life.

Defarge's angered response- (killing all the aristocrats) against the unlawful death of her sister is an example of negative transference. It is because her anger has been transferred and projected onto an entire class of people whose wealth has made them despicable without determining individual culpability.

In the end, through a series of events and against the warnings of friends and associates, Charles Darnay leaves England to return to Paris to help a friend. Once in Paris, he is captured, jailed, and convicted by Revolutionaries in a kangaroo court because of his own ancestry. The fact that he had relinquished all of his privileges associated with nobility and has witnesses at his trial from England, among them Sydney Carton, who testified on his behalf, proved futile. Darnay was sentenced to death by the guillotine. Years had passed. Sydney Carton was now a close friend of Charles and his wife, Lucie. The couple also had a young daughter.

Seeing the plight of his friend Charles Darnay, Mr. Carton saw an opportunity to prove himself worthy of love. While in Paris with Darnay still imprisoned, Carton determines to intervene on Darnay's behalf. In the end, Sydney Carton is revered by his associates and especially Charles and Lucie Darnay. In the end, Sydney Carton sacrificed an irrevocable possession--his life. I will leave it to you to discover how he does this.

Several characters in this romantic drama face unenviable choices and the opportunity to exercise retribution for the atrocities they suffered unjustly. They, however, evaded sinking to the depths of their captors who, unlike them, allowed their hatred to grow into a blood-thirsty rage.

A Tale of Two Cities reflects societal values that parallel with those ethics and values governing our practice: The Importance of “Human Relationships” that emphasize the understanding that relationships between and among people are meaningful and that our efforts should always seek to restore, maintain, and enhance the well-being of individuals, families, and communities. And, along with the importance of Human Relationships, "Social Justice" that ensures all people everywhere have equal access to the resources and opportunities they require to meet their basic human needs.

In "A Tale of Two Cities," we learn that much of the developed world exists as a polarized world. While the goal of therapy is to reduce the suffering or distress of our clients, we must be careful in our efforts not to inflict more pain into the lives of our clients while attempting to relieve their suffering. I believe the message for us is this— "Don't let the darkness overcome you." If you believe that virtue exists and good exists and that in the end, good always triumphs over evil, it is your responsibility and mine to point others, which includes our clients, toward good wherever we find it, consistent with moral values that restore social accountability.

As we begin this year, we each will have opportunities to expose evil, practice good, and be examples for those who remain in darkness. And, to remember the words of philosopher Fredrich Nietzsche— "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process [they] do not become a monster. "

Drive: Finding Fuel With An Empty Tank

Photo by Patrick Hendry

By Sterling Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

Several nights ago I watched the Netflix documentary “14 Peaks: the quest to climb the world’s highest mountains in less than a year.” The film was released in November and chronicles the expedition of Nirmal Purja, a 38-year-old Nepali, mountain climber, former British Army Gurka, and Special Forces officer who embarks on a seemingly impossible quest to summit all fourteen of the world’s 8,000-meter peaks in seven months.

A newcomer to the world of high altitude climbing, Nirmal, who goes by Nims for short, discovered his love for climbing in 2012 when making a trek to Mt. Everest while on military leave. Against his family’s urging to remain in the military, Nims left military service and began seeking sponsorship to complete his mission to focus the attention of the world on the Nepalese Sherpa community. The Sherpas serve as elite guides and expert explorers and earn their living hosting expeditions for mountain climbers who come from around the world to the Himalayas to test their skill and endurance against the most majestic and deadliest mountains on the planet. Sherpas risk their lives each year, are underpaid, and lack recognition within the international climbing community. Nim’s expedition sought to change this by highlighting the invaluable service Sherpas provide to climbers at all skill levels.

The expedition, dubbed “Project Possible.” becomes a catchphrase for every obstacle and challenge Nims and his team face throughout the mission. Nims set 6 world records while completing this project and successfully accomplished what most in the climbing community said was impossible. Nims says “It’s about achieving the impossible in life, you just need to have a vision.”

As I reflected on this documentary, I asked myself the following questions: What keeps me going when I’m emotionally and physically drained? And, is it possible for me to refuel, recharge, and refresh while completing my own objectives? 2021 has required each of us to dig deep mentally and tap into our physical and emotional reserves in unique ways we are unaccustomed to. As I pondered these questions I identified three things that have helped me this year and thought I would share them with you as we approach 2022.

Acknowledge the Challenge

Before setting out on any mission you first have to decide what the mission is going to be and determine if you have the tools and resources needed to accomplish your goals. Perhaps you are already involved in a project or on a mission that has stalled, and you desperately need the motivation or essential resources to complete your mission successfully. In the film, the first thing Nims does is examine what he wants to do. He answers the question “what” before he attempts to answer the question of ‘how”. If we’re honest, most of us spend far too little time thinking about what it is we wish to accomplish at the micro-level. Looking at your tasks incrementally before you initiate them will help you to identify the best methods to navigate obstacles and avoid burnout or failure.

Embrace your Vulnerability

The second thing you can do to increase mental and physical stamina on any given task is to embrace your vulnerability. What this means simply is that you accept certain limitations as non-negotiable while leveraging your resources and strengths toward those aspects of the project that will yield the best returns for the amount of effort you put forth. What this looks like will depend a lot on your personality type and what methods you apply in solving specific problems that you encounter in the process. Nims is very ambitious and an over-achiever by nature who had already accomplished a rather impressive track record while serving in the Special Forces of the British Navy. He was no stranger to what others called impossible. In 14 Peaks Nims was simply facing new challenges that required him to assess what he thought was possible using his own definitions while not allowing others to completely define what they believed he should or shouldn’t attempt as it related to the mission.

An example of this was Nim’s decision to use oxygen when climbing at an altitude above 26,000 feet, referred to by climbers as the “death zone” where the lack of oxygen can quickly cause what is known as altitude sickness, which can result in headache, nausea, vomiting, rapid heart rate and if left untreated, death. There is a decades-long debate about using oxygen when climbing at altitudes above 26,000 feet among purists in the climbing community. Nims made the decision early to climb with bottled oxygen to ensure that his efforts were not compromised by the unexpected. Altitude sickness can occur at any time on any high-altitude climb. Even among professional climbers. Therefore, Nims chose to use oxygen, so as to not jeopardize the mission or the members of his Team. Besides, he had nothing to prove. Two years earlier he had climbed and summited K2 without the use of oxygen. The decision to use oxygen on this mission allowed Nims to lead while maintaining his pace with the rest of the team.

Build a Support Network

This I believe is the most important of the three strategies. When we build a support network it enables us to remain objective by giving us a panoramic view of whatever we are attempting, by allowing us to harness the collective wisdom of others who may approach circumstances and situations differently than we would. And, by enhancing our options and increasing our intellectual and emotional capacity we are able to endure and push through roadblocks and challenges that could sabotage our mission. Attempting any challenge in life that poses a high risk requires you to face the possibility of undesirable outcomes. The recognition of failure, loss, and even death is a reality and an occupational hazard for some. For others, it is a chosen lifestyle. For those who risk their lives because it is their job and those who risk their lives for sport, the same dynamic is at work. Each is motivated by the desire to overcome challenges and excel in what they do. In the scientific community, this phenomenon is referred to as “hormesis” and is defined as the adaptive response of cells and organisms to moderate and intermittent stress. In laymen’s terms, something that could significantly impair or even kill you in high doses can make you stronger in low doses. If we apply this biological concept to everyday lives, in our work, in our family life, or in recreational activities, theoretically we should improve and grow stronger over time.

So what does this have to do with building a support network? Everything. Having a support network is like having a testing ground. It enables you to try new things take calculated risks you would be unable to take if you were trying something new on your own. Most importantly, a support network or team creates a safety net that allows you to grow, adapt, change, and develop your skillset. One of the side-effects of growth involves feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and just plain fear.

During the filming of 14 Peaks, Nims is asked what made him different from others unwilling to attempt this type of expedition? His answer surprised me. he answered-- “I have no fear.” I turned this over in my mind baffled, but think I now understand what he means. What he was saying I believe is that he has respect for the forces in nature that could kill him and would not focus on those forces in a vacuum. He would rely on the knowledge and expertise of each personally handpicked team member to supplement his own knowledge deficits to make what seemed impossible, possible.

New York Times columnist, Carl Richards, several years ago wrote about the feeling of being in, just a little over his head as a source of motivation in his work. He wrote that while it seems counterintuitive— “there’s something about a sink or swim environment that excites me.” And, that trying new things often forces you to face a steep learning curve. The very act of taking on something new helps us to become better at work overall. He emphasizes that this approach requires moderation. He writes— “you can’t spend your whole life in the deep end, as this is a recipe for drowning. Muscles get tired. So just like physical exercise, you have to take breaks. You have to calibrate the stress and rest cycle of any entrepreneurial or creative work. He concludes that the tangible benefits that come from stepping outside our comfort zone, is that you can become more excited about your work which is a surefire way to improve performance.

To conclude, recognizing your need for fuel in daily life involves each of these practices: Acknowledging your challenges, Embracing your vulnerabilities, and Building a support network. Your need for fuel in daily life may be less challenging than it was for Nims and his team, but no less important. Recognition for most of us requires us to acknowledge and accept what our physical body most needs. Simply planning to get a good night’s sleep and to exercise. Or, stopping to eat lunch. We must fight the temptation to skip or defer these health practices. Rest, exercise and nutrition increase your body’s immune response and fuel efficiency by giving it what it needs to run longer without the need for chemical stimulants and energy boosters. This by far is the best way to guarantee you never run on empty. A good support network can help build accountability between its members and ensure that everyone is working to overcome the mental and physical challenges that result from working on lengthy projects that come with inevitable setbacks and risks.

Running out of fuel for high-altitude climbers means more than fueling to meet a deadline, delivering a product or service on time, or losing to other competitors. Running out of fuel could literally cost them their life. Building reserve and maintaining it involves continual conservation of your physical, mental, and emotional energy. You have to decide what’s best and remember what things have made it difficult for you in the past, causing you to become apathetic or disillusioned with your objectives. Fuel economy whatever your mission involves each of these three elements and more. Make them a part of your pre-check list before beginning your next project.

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References:

Clarke, G., Jones, T. (2021, November 29 ) 14 Peaks: Nothing Is Impossible. Retrieved from https://www.netflix.com/title/81464765

Lawrence, A. (2021, December 3). 14 Peaks: the quest to climb the world’s highest mountains in less than a year. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/dec/03/nirmal-purja-mountaineer-14-peaks-documentary

Richards, C. (2016) The Paradox of Finding Motivation Through Fear.  New York Times.  Retrieved on 4 December 2021. Available https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/12/your-money/the-paradox-of-finding-motivation-through-fear.html