"In Your Quest to Kill the Monster, Don't Become One."

Photo by Cup of Couple

By Sterling M. Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW

Mental health therapists are struggling. The struggle is to balance the process of being broken while becoming whole. Being a mental health provider does not exempt me from this struggle. What is true for the masses is true for practitioners as well. Mental health providers understand the dual nature of humanity— that we are complex creatures with immense capacities for love and hate. There is such a thing as righteous hate when it comes to racism, sexism, and social injustice. But if we allow our treatment efforts to correct, mitigate, and resolve those prejudices and injustices to turn us toward personal hate, we risk endangering our clients and ourselves. Allow me to explain.

When working with clients, I sometimes use Cognitive Restructuring. In this process, thoughts or beliefs associated with anxiety, fear, or depression are replaced with thoughts or beliefs related to confidence and strength. For most therapists, anger is an all too familiar emotion we encounter in practice. Occasionally, for therapeutic reasons, we may encourage some of our clients to become angry, but more often than not, we try to get clients to address what is beneath or at the root of their anger. It is generally agreed within the mental health community that anger is rarely, if ever, a primary emotion. However, we sometimes unintentionally transfer our anger onto clients when their trauma becomes a catalyst. In our present climate of racially motivated violence and hate, I find cultivating a sense of strength and wholeness into the lives of my clients an ongoing challenge because every issue has the potential to become politicized in ways that at times cause me to lose sight of what's essential. Clients sometimes fail to identify the primary emotion fueling their anger, particularly when harmed. When this happens, feelings of devaluation, powerlessness, and rejection usually result. The danger for us as therapists is that we may fail to assist clients properly in alleviating their emotional pain. Some of us go to great lengths to justify our client's anger, and yet their anger remains.

As therapists, we sometimes unconsciously reflect back to our clients our own distressing emotions stemming from similar experiences from our past in reaction to something the client says or does. This concept is called "counter-transference." Likewise, clients' words and actions can also stem from their past experiences and emotions. This concept is referred to as "transference." Transference comes in various forms that time will not allow me to delve into. However, not all transference is negative. Particularly when we as therapists are able to recognize when it occurs. At times it can be educational. At other times it is used to exercise empathy. The challenge for us as therapists is to remain self-aware throughout the process and not react to what our clients are transferring or projecting onto us.

In not wanting clients to feel distressing emotions of fear and hurt, we sometimes reflect to them our anger as a means to keep their more vulnerable feelings at bay. While engaging in psychological defenses such as blame or criticism provides a temporary escape and release for the anger, it often fails to break the vicious cycle and restore harmony and trust that most of us deeply crave. A noted theologian once remarked— "the natural religion of every human heart is self-righteousness." That is to say, we are all seeking vindication from someone or something to become whole, but first, we must be broken.

In the book titled "A Tale of Two Cities, "the author Charles Dickens presents a fictional narrative based on factual history. It was written in 1792 at a time like now when socio-economics and political forces created today's version of "cancel-culture." The aristocracy had gained increasing political and economic strength and used this strength to oppress the commoners. The result was a growing sense of anger and hatred by the commoners towards the aristocracy.

In the story, Charles Darnay, a young French aristocrat, sees this oppression and relinquishes his titles, property, and French citizenship; he moves to England and is accused by England of being a French spy. He was jailed, tried, but acquitted because of conflicting statements given by his accusers.

Another central character, Sydney Carton, a shrewd young barrister present at Darnay's trial, asks him afterward if it was worth almost losing his life and giving up his titles and possessions only to be accused of being a spy. Carton is depressed and doesn't like Darnay. And although they share a close physical resemblance, Darnay's actions and demeanor are of a quiet yet assertive disposition. These character traits remind Carton of everything he is not. Carton admits that he is a drunk and has no hope of improving his life but does want to learn what possessed Darnay to relinquish his wealth and privilege in exchange for a meager living among the working class. As an educated trial attorney, Sydney Carton has strong opinions about himself and the ambition of others in an environment of political corruption and his own sense of powerlessness against injustice.

This is an example of positive transference by Charles Darnay because he is not reacting negatively to Carton's impression of who and what he believes Charles Darnay represents in terms of political influence and wealth based on past experiences. Carton's initial approach toward Darnay is mild cynicism. Darnay doesn't fit the stereotype of an aristocrat, and Carton is perplexed.

Another character in the story and adversary of Charles Darnay is Madame Defarge. Defarge owns a tavern in France and is a revolutionary driven to annihilate all French nobles, of which Darnay is now only by birth. While exiled in France, Darnay is not forgotten by those who seek revenge against him because of his family's history. Madame Defarge's sister, we learn later in the story, was raped and murdered by aristocrats. While those responsible are presumed dead, Defarge will not rest until all aristocrats are killed. Defarge's retribution cast a wide net that resulted in many deaths. However, Madame DeFarge's hate eventually costs her her life.

Defarge's angered response- (killing all the aristocrats) against the unlawful death of her sister is an example of negative transference. It is because her anger has been transferred and projected onto an entire class of people whose wealth has made them despicable without determining individual culpability.

In the end, through a series of events and against the warnings of friends and associates, Charles Darnay leaves England to return to Paris to help a friend. Once in Paris, he is captured, jailed, and convicted by Revolutionaries in a kangaroo court because of his own ancestry. The fact that he had relinquished all of his privileges associated with nobility and has witnesses at his trial from England, among them Sydney Carton, who testified on his behalf, proved futile. Darnay was sentenced to death by the guillotine. Years had passed. Sydney Carton was now a close friend of Charles and his wife, Lucie. The couple also had a young daughter.

Seeing the plight of his friend Charles Darnay, Mr. Carton saw an opportunity to prove himself worthy of love. While in Paris with Darnay still imprisoned, Carton determines to intervene on Darnay's behalf. In the end, Sydney Carton is revered by his associates and especially Charles and Lucie Darnay. In the end, Sydney Carton sacrificed an irrevocable possession--his life. I will leave it to you to discover how he does this.

Several characters in this romantic drama face unenviable choices and the opportunity to exercise retribution for the atrocities they suffered unjustly. They, however, evaded sinking to the depths of their captors who, unlike them, allowed their hatred to grow into a blood-thirsty rage.

A Tale of Two Cities reflects societal values that parallel with those ethics and values governing our practice: The Importance of “Human Relationships” that emphasize the understanding that relationships between and among people are meaningful and that our efforts should always seek to restore, maintain, and enhance the well-being of individuals, families, and communities. And, along with the importance of Human Relationships, "Social Justice" that ensures all people everywhere have equal access to the resources and opportunities they require to meet their basic human needs.

In "A Tale of Two Cities," we learn that much of the developed world exists as a polarized world. While the goal of therapy is to reduce the suffering or distress of our clients, we must be careful in our efforts not to inflict more pain into the lives of our clients while attempting to relieve their suffering. I believe the message for us is this— "Don't let the darkness overcome you." If you believe that virtue exists and good exists and that in the end, good always triumphs over evil, it is your responsibility and mine to point others, which includes our clients, toward good wherever we find it, consistent with moral values that restore social accountability.

As we begin this year, we each will have opportunities to expose evil, practice good, and be examples for those who remain in darkness. And, to remember the words of philosopher Fredrich Nietzsche— "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process [they] do not become a monster. "