R E F I R E D
Photo by Barbara Olsen
By Sterling M. Hawkins, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW
How do you understand life in a way that gives you a sense of integrity when a dream’s shelf life is ending?
From a very young age, I loved learning. Although, at times the classroom and its instructors were not always welcoming. A few courses loomed large and intimidating. Despite these aversions, I love the way that learning new things makes me feel. Not in a prideful way but in a way that shapes my perspectives on life and in the best possible world, allows me to test my knowledge and experience, and distill it down to what’s applicable and what can be used to help others. I believe this is the single most important factor and the primary inspiration for any good reflected in my learning.
While serving others is a primary inspiration, there are parallel inspirations for my love for learning. I believe God has gifted me with drive and opportunity. Drive and opportunity require that I find channels to be responsible. Being responsible means not treating drive or opportunity as limitless resources.
I’ve been fortunate to occupy both physical and virtual spaces in my educational journey. My formal education began when I was 19. I left my Mid-Atlantic home to attend a college in the Midwest. I would transfer to 2 other schools, attempting to retain as many credits as possible before completing my bachelor’s at age 24.
After completing my bachelor’s, I started working, but shortly thereafter crossed paths with faculty and alumni from the university in the Sunshine State where I then worked and lived. One conversation led to another followed by several visits on campus, that culminated in my registering for a Spring semester class in the program in which I planned to major.
The following Fall, I resigned from my job, applied to enroll in graduate studies, and began attending school full-time. Two years later, I graduated with my master’s at age 27. It was challenging yet rewarding. And I made a couple of friendships with whom I remain in contact.
Last year I retired from full-time agency employment and have continued working part-time in my practice. Since completing my master’s degree more than 30 years ago I have occasionally contemplated returning to school to complete a doctorate. However, marriage, career, and raising a family consumed my energies, so I pushed the thought aside. Financial constraints have always been a deterrent and the lack of connection with academia all combined to reduce the thought to an imagination, a mere dream.
Entering retirement has rekindled my interest in continued study at the doctoral level. My wife still works full-time. Our kids have completed their education, are out of the home, and are financially independent. I have a couple of ongoing commitments. But nothing that can’t be scaled back or eliminated to accommodate a return to graduate study. I’ve consulted with my financial advisor and believe that I’m securely positioned to resume my education without risking my retirement savings.
Several months ago, I began exploring the possibility of returning to school and what I would require to be successful. I identified a couple of schools and have applied to the school that I believe meets my needs. I want to continue learning and adding to what I have gained over the years to continue serving others. I concluded that if I could locate a program that was online and afford me the flexibility to learn at a reasonable pace, I could re-enter the classroom and hopefully survive the rigors at the doctoral level.
There’s a good likelihood that I will be accepted by at least one of the two schools I’ve researched. I have begun the Q and A dialog with Admissions which will prepare me to make the final decision within the next couple of weeks. If everything goes according to plan, I will be able to enroll and register for the Spring 2025 semester.
As I reflect on yet another epic journey, I am cautiously optimistic about my dream’s shelf life. If I am admitted into the program and begin in the Spring and can remain on track without any setbacks, I should be completing the degree by my 68th birthday.
Feelings of self-doubt, and external distractions are ever-present. The window for me to complete this journey is shrinking. Therefore, I must exercise faith, and self-efficacy, and solicit the support of friends and former colleagues who have completed their doctoral journey or who will remind me of why I made this decision to begin with:
A first in my family of origin to complete a degree. As a person of color to experience inclusion, have a seat at the table and a voice in the room. To inspire others to dream and see education as a tool that they can use to grow their mind and change the world one person at a time. A good education does this. A good education should equip one to end life well. These are all things that inspire me. The dream is taking shape. I’m now refired!